Gas Station conversation

MESSAGEBOARD

FAN STORIES

FAVOURITE QUOTES

Phil Hicks: "Why don't we use your car?"

Gardner: "You're drinking it."

FAVOURITE QUOTES

THIS QUOTES PAGE HAS BEEN ARCHIVED:
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AUDIO FILES

Thanks to fans Sue Tarantino and Richard Arizpe for the following .wav audio files:

  • 3chilli.wav
    "Can I take your order please?"
    "Gimmie three chilli dogs and a malt"
  • Groovers.wav
    "That's one small step for Groovers boys, one giant leap for weeny-kind..!"
  • Privuth.wav
    "There's nothing wrong with going nowhere son, it's a privilege of youth."
  • Willbe.wav
    "To us and that, and privileges of youth. Here's to us and what we were."
    "And what we'll be."
  • Fandango.wav
    "Hey, how 'bout a Fandango..?"

QUOTES

These quotes should be in the order said in the film. Got a favourite quote that's not already on this page? Submit by e-mailing HERE and I'll add them to the site. (Or let us know if there's any errors in the quotes already here.)
 

GARDNER: "Almost darlin' - but not quite."

Submitted by: Simon, Essex, London; 'db-p', Ontario, Canada; Robert Byron, Bellingham, Washington; Rob Sanborn, Valencia, CA

GARDNER (when record gets turned off): "Good, I hate that part."

Submitted by: Huw Langridge, London, England

PHIL: "Where's your car?"
GARDNER: "You're drinkin' it."

Submitted by: Julie Strahan, Melbourne; Marcin D±browski, Warsaw, Poland; Harry Novick, Portland, OR

PHIL: "You sold your car to throw a party? But you didn't even graduate!"

Submitted by: Robert Byron, Bellingham, Washington

GARDNER (to PHIL about his parents): "They're from New Jersey, Philip... they've seen buts before."

Submitted by: Wally, Jacksonville, FL; Julie Strahan, Melbourne

PHIL'S DAD: "Yes, you're the young man studying to be a..."
DORMAN (beer in hand): "A minister."

Submitted by: Grant Garland, Corning, AR

GARDNER: "A farewell fandango for the Groovers!"

Submitted by: Robert Byron, Bellingham, Washington

GARDNER: "Innocent critters squashed on the highway of life!"

Submitted by: Corey Heath, acs.tamu.edu; Robert Byron, Bellingham, Washington

DORMAN: "Turn out the lights when you leave."

Submitted by: Brian Humphrey, Westland, MI

GARDNER: "Tough it out, son"

Submitted by: Wes Welch, Denver City, TX

GARDNER: "So what'll it be for breakfast, barbeque or chilli?"
[PHIL vomits]
GARDNER: "OK, chilli it is"

Submitted by: Harry Novick, Portland, OR; Jay Cunningham, Houston

GARDNER: "How about margaritas at Chatta Ortega's? We could see the Donkey Lady!"
PHIL: "We could get diseases."

Submitted by: Jan, Washington, DC; Jason Brumbalow, Temple, TX

GARDNER: "We gotta dig up DOM."

Submitted by: Andrew B, Lafayette, Indiana

GARDNER: "It's done son, and DOM is waitin', over rover!"

Submitted by: Rob Sanborn, Valencia CA

GARDNER (after Waggener announces that he and Deb aren't getting married): "Waggener, that's great!"

Submitted by: Julie, Orlando, FL

GARDNER: "Does that mean I get my fondue set back?"

Submitted by: 'Longhorn', via webtv.net; Tim Kimball

PHIL: You called your wedding off after talking to her dad?

Submitted by: Rick, St. Joseph, MN

GARDNER: "This's stuff that legend's made of, son."

Submitted by: Anton Shor, Jerusalem

GARDNER: "Going on aimless excursions is the privilege of youth".

Submitted by: Timothy J. McKinney, uah.edu

WAGGENER: "That's dirt son. There's no highway through here. Dotted line means dirt."
GARDNER: "I thought it meant short cut.
PHIL: "Do you know what "E" means? Do you know what "E" means? It means "empty" douche bag - like your head!"

Submitted by: Rick, St. Joseph, MN; Toby Metcalf, Natick, MA

PHIL: "Where are we?"
WAGGENER (Looking across the roof of the caddy at Gardner): "The ass of nowhere."

Submitted by: Thomas 'weenie-extraordinaire' Merick, Detroit

PHIL: "Texas is really ugly, you know that? I mean, what could anyone possibly like about this state?"
DORMAN: "I like the way it's shaped."
GARDNER: "It's wild, Phillip. Always has been and always will be - just like us"

Submitted by: Chuck Bush, Louisiana; Mel, Fullerton CA; Donna, MO; Jerry Bandy, Watauga, Texas; Pete Kirby, Asheville, NC; Martin Weathersbee, Del Rio, Texas; Mel, Fullerton CA

WAGGENER: You got any regrets?
GARDNER: About what?
WAGGENER: Certain women.

Submitted by: Steve Kegebein, Chicago

GARDNER: "I've never been serious about a woman in my life son, you know that."

Submitted by: Jason Knesek, Houston, Texas; 'db-p', Ontario, Canada; Steve Kegebein, Chicago; Rob Sanborn, Valencia, CA

GARDNER: "You ever been in love, Phillip?"
PHIL (hesitant) "I don't know..."
GARDNER: "Course you know. You ever thought you loved a girl, you loved her. That's all love is, mostly: thoughts."

Submitted by: Paul Cope, Marble Falls, TX; Jerry Bandy, Watauga, Texas

GARDNER: It'll be just like water skiing.
PHIL: Water skiing?!

Submitted by: Rick, St. Joseph, MN; Toby Metcalf, Natick, MA

(As Dorman rips out the wire to connect the car to the train)
PHIL: "That's a felony, do you know that?"
DORMAN: "Yes."
PHIL: "Think Dorman, don't be big and stupid!"

Submitted by: Badtoe, Cedar Falls, Iowa; David Malina, Dallas, TX; Badtoe, Cedar Falls, Iowa

GARDNER (after hitching the car to a train): "How are we gonna stop?"

Submitted by: Daryl Santos, Binghamton, NY (orig: Houston); Will Retherford, Indianapolis, IN; Chris, Gaithersburg

PHIL: "You are the most irresponsible person I have ever met"
GARDNER: "Well, somebody had to be."

Submitted by: Julie Strahan, Melbourne; Donna, MO; Matteo Manici, Maderno (BS) Italy; Jerry Bandy, Watauga, Texas

GARDNER: "The freedom of expression is a wonderful thing Phillip."

Submitted by: Matt Regalado, Tulare, California

(While pushing the car)
GARDNER: "Give Lester another beer."
PHIL: "He doesn't need another beer."
GARDNER: "The boy's facing life as an accountant - he needs somethin'!"

Submitted by: BadToe, Iowa

GARDNER (to hitch-hiker): "Sorry, we're gettin' off here."

Submitted by: Alan Kirkpatrick, Newtown, Pa

(filling up with gas): "Lefty loosey, righty tightee!"

Submitted by: Anthony, Montreal, Canada; Clare Mitchell, London, England

MECHANIC: "That car's afflicted."
GARDNER: "Naw, she just needs a little alignment hygiene."

Submitted by: T.J. Crowson, Denver, CO; 'FandangoJeff', Midland, Texas; Anthony Arizpe, Irving, TX

DORMAN: "No more quarters."

Submitted by: Dave Washabaugh, Johnstown, PA; T.J. Crowson, Denver, CO

GARDNER: "Come on, Phillip - can't let a little thing like this spoil the damn pilgrimage."

Submitted by: Jim Schaefers, Corvallis, Oregon

GARDNER: "We came out here to forget some things, Philip. Why won't you let us?"

Submitted by: Julie Strahan, Melbourne; Stephen Fleming, San Marcos; Ryan, Houston

GARDNER: "You're only young once..."

Submitted by: Corey Heath, acs.tamu.edu

PHIL: "Well we're not youths anymore, Peter Pan"

Submitted by: Sam Rosenblum, Largo, FL

GARDNER: "You know Phillip, when you're - old..."

Submitted by: Chuck Weber, Albuquerque, NM

"It don't all change"

Submitted by: Scott Broadley, Huddersfield

SONIC CUSTOMER: "Gimme three chilli dogs and a malt".

Submitted by: Rick Sanchez, East Liverpool, Ohio; Ryan Haygood, Dallas, Texas; Carl Cosgrove, Snohomish, Washington USA

WAGGENER: "They're jailbait!"
GARDNER: "So were we, once."

Submitted by: Sheri Campbell-Husband, North Richland Hills, Texas

PHIL (in the bathroom): "They're airheads Gardner. Bimbos. Little girls with little brains."
GARDNER: "Well, we're not tryin' to expand their minds Philip, so don't get picky on me."

Submitted by: Ken, Greenville, SC

LORNA: "An' then, after she had the baby, they had to remove her utopian tubes.
GARDNER: No, no, that's 'Fallopian', darlin'.
LORNA: Fallopian? Those are books in the Bible, silly! 'First and Second Fallopians'...

Submitted by: Marlene, Philadelphia PA USA; Anthony Arizpe, Irving, TX; Harry Novick, Portland, OR

LORNA: "So what do you boys want to do now?"
GARDNER: "Are ya eighteen?"

Submitted by: Ryan, Houston

GARDNER: "Only if it's neat."

Submitted by: John Nelson, San Angelo, TX; Denise B. Fair, Austin

GARDNER: "Well, now, Lorna darlin', just what exactly does your daddy do?" LORNA: "He's in the Fun'ral Bidness."

Submitted by: Anthony Arizpe, Irving, TX

LORNA: "It's no fun shootin rockets in the air. You gotta have movin targets"
WAGGENER: "Ain't that just a tad dangerous?"
Judy: "No. It's sooo neat."

Submitted by: Elisabeth Cope, Mount Pleasant, SC

"They shot Giant ...here?"

Submitted by: Richard, Greenville

(after the lizard crawls out of Phil's pants leg.)
PHIL: "Well, it felt like a snake."
GARDNER: "No, no, no... it felt like a rattler."

Submitted by: Jessica Smith, Arlington, TX; David Estes, Prattville, Al

PHIL: "Where'd you get the money?"
GARDNER: "Birthday present from the girls."
PHIL: "It's not your birthday!"
PHIL: "Well, it's gonna be."

Submitted by: Grant Garland, Corning, AR

PHIL: "I am NOT a weenie!"

Submitted by: Al Bates, Austinburg, Ohio, USA

TRUMAN: "Oh, no. She's not my wife, she's just my old lady"

Submitted by: Dustin Campbell, Houston, TX; Tim Kimball

GARDNER: "...and since this is going to be a God-send to the local economy, we were thinking you could reciprocate a little on the lesson... Truman, on the lesson?"

Submitted by: Alan Kirkpatrick, Newtown, Pa

TRUMAN: Hey, pretty excited isn't he?
GARDNER: Oh, the man absolutely thrives on danger.

Submitted by: Rick, St. Joseph, MN

PHIL: "Why should he? It's your duty!"

Submitted by: Matt Regalado, Tulare, California

TRUMAN: "...O.K. now you'll be coming out here and you'll be doing a stable fall face down frog modified. Now out here comes the static line 'cause it goes like from this to here see, and then the pilot chute will open and it'll pull the bridle out and then the main canopy will be open see, 'cause they're all connected, and then you'll be down here and you'll be looking up here at the WDI indicator and you'll also going to check for Mae West and if that's not there then you need to check here for 4 panels and a hole. Then when you come down you're gonna find the piece and you're gonna land over here and you're going to get in this position - except you don't wanna do that - because that means you in trouble, so what you want to do is you wanna get right here and then you're gonna come round here and you're gonna fold up and you're gonna do a toggle and jettison and always watch the horizon O.K?.."

Submitted by: Scott Snowden, London

GROOVERS (SANS PHIL): "Archhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...!"

Submitted by: Brandon, London

TRUMAN: "OK, you're inside the plane... I cut the engine... you reach your hands outside the door... step out on the wheel... dangle the foot... and AUUUUGGHH...... AUUUUGGHH...... AUUUUGGHH..... AUUUUGGHH...... WAUH... He missed the mattress!"

Submitted by: Jesper Lisberg, Aarhus, Denmark; Todd Loomis, Wichita, KS

TRUMAN: You do that in the real thing dude, and you're gonna bounce.

Submitted by: Rob Sanborn, Valencia CA

TRUMAN: "Mister Hicks? Mister... oh, here he is."

Submitted by: Anthony Arizpe, Irving, TX

TRUMAN (to a nervous PHIL): "Hey is everything cool dude? Look, if it'll make you feel better I'll take a chute up and jump first so's you can watch how it's done.
(Pause) Oh ho! Oh ho ho! Ohhh ho ho ho, oh God! Well I can't do that. If I do that, who's gonna land the plane? Oh dear!."
GARDNER (to a mortified PHIL): "It's a joke son. It was a baaaad joke."

Submitted by: Huw Langridge, London, England; Anthony Arizpe, Irving, TX

GARDNER: "That's a good point, Truman"

Submitted by: John, Dallas, Texas

GARDNER: "You take good notes."

Submitted by: Brandon, London

GARDNER: "Its vicarious entertainment, courtesy of Phil Hicks, weenie extraordinare"

Submitted by: Mike Akers, Jacksonville, Fl.

GARDNER: "Looks fast, Truman."
TRUMAN: "Yeah, it's the stripes."
GARDNER: "Yeah, I like those."

Submitted by: Richard, Greenville; Marcin D±browski, Warsaw, Poland; Jessica Smith, Arlington, TX

TRUMAN: "Hop in, dude!"

Submitted by: David Anderhub, Waxahachie, TX

GARDNER: "One small step for a groover, boys... one giant leap for weenie kind!"

Submitted by: Sue, via aol.com; António Neves da Silva, Lisbon

TRELIS: "Which one of you turkeys grabbed the wrong chute? Who's got my laundry?"

Submitted by: Grant Garland, Corning, AR

DORMAN: "Burn his car."
GARDNER: "No! No, somethin' else!"

Submitted by: Brian Humphrey, Westland, MI; Sam Rosenblum, Largo, FL

WAGGENER: "Quick son, we need you to be an apostrophe"

Submitted by: Hood Mauermann, Cypress, Texas

TRELIS: "Hey man, what a drag! I mean, where do you guys get off? Biodegradable soap don't come cheap you know. Like it's not enought you already botched one load. You guys are totally uncool. My flour! What a pisser!"

Submitted by: Patty Bassler, South Milwaukee, WI

TRELIS: "Just keep your distance, man. Listen, I ain't kinky. I ain't into that stuff."

Submitted by: David Williams, Jonesboro, Arkansas

TRUMAN (to a nervous Philip): "You dont mind if I fire up, do ya? "

Submitted by: Rick Sanchez, East Liverpool, Ohio

TRUMAN: "You ever spear fish for sharks man? Must be a real rush, just you and a great white one on one!"

Submitted by: Sam Rosenblum, Largo, FL

TRUMAN: "I'd rather burn in at 200 mph and have some laughs than to eat it in a car accident. I mean, that's a really dumb way to go."

Submitted by: Sam Rosenblum, Largo, FL

TRUMAN: "Better to go like this than in some senseless tragedy."

Submitted by: David Anderhub, Waxahachie, TX

TRUMAN: "Oh, hey, I gotta tell you about my dream. You're gonna get into this man. This is great. No, really, you see like the one thing I wanna do before I join the cosmos is to hang glide off of Mt. Everest. Yeah, but wait, this is the best part - NAKED - Ha Ha! Yeah man, born to be wild!"

Submitted by: Jim Bassler, South Milwaukee, WI; Rebecca, Austin, Texas
TRUMAN: (to PHIL in the plane) "You know, you might want to take a couple hits of this before you go out the door. It makes the trip down real interesting."

Submitted by: Mother Goose, Cedar Falls, Iowa; Sam Rosenblum, Largo, FL

TRUMAN: "Don't be a dick, man! I can't land with you like that! Let go!" (starts rocking plane)

Submitted by: Khaled Younes, Newport, Rhode Island; Swede, La Junta, CO

TRUMAN: (seeing that the chute hasn't worked) "Wow man, what a bummer."

Submitted by: Don, Missouri

TRUMAN: "Hey Mister Hicks, Guess what!"

Submitted by: David Anderhub, Waxahachie, TX

TRUMAN: "Just keepin' ya' posted, dude!"

Submitted by: Chris, Sterlington, LA

TRUMAN: "Hey listen dude, if you're into playin' it close that's cool, but we're talkin' major malfunction here!".

Submitted by: Blaine Cormaney, Cedar Falls, Iowa; Chris Shanks, Aiken, SC

PHIL: "Aaaaaaaangels!"

Submitted by: Ron Stuart, Seattle

TRUMAN: "Way to go, Mister Hicks. I wanna shake your hand... say, he's got a pretty good grip on that thing."

Submitted by: RF, Greenville, SC

GARDNER: "Como se llama yo mama..."

Submitted by: Jason Brumbalow, Temple, TX

WAGGENER: (outside the charred remains of Chata Ortegas) "Remember when you were in high school, looking ahead, and how you just knew everything thing was gonna be great... you just knew it... I don't feel like that anymore."

Submitted by: RF, Greenville, SC
l

GARDNER: "Anyway, you know me; gotta roll, gotta birddog, gotta cross females and fences... and if you'd all just come with me, you'd see."

Submitted by: Shubunka, Las Vegas; Sam Smith, Mineral City, Ohio

GARDNER (after digging up DOM): "Hello, bud."

Submitted by: Dean Pierce, Schertz, Texas

GARDNER: "Here's to us, by God..."

Submitted by: Corey Heath, acs.tamu.edu

GARDNER: "This boy's got to get married!"

Submitted by: Sam Rosenblum, Largo, FL

GARDNER: "Give me that dime - there's only one human being who can do it on time."

Submitted by: Sam Rosenblum, Largo, FL

TRUMAN (reading instructions scrawled on packet): "I-35 to Route 635, South to Bandaid... Bandaid? Oh, Cleveland! Ha ha...

Submitted by: Julie Strahan, Melbourne; Sam Rosenblum, Largo, FL

PHIL: "Napkins! I forgot to order the napkins! It's always something."
MAN ON BENCH: "Hell, I got napkins."

Submitted by: Beth Cope, Marshall, Texas

GARDNER: "Champagne truck flipped over in Fort Stockton, broke every damn bottle."

Submitted by: John Nelson, San Angelo, TX

MAN ON BENCH: "Say, you boys drink beer?"
GARDNER: "Well yes, on occasion."

Submitted by: Steve Whitehead, Dallas; Marcin D±browski, Warsaw, Poland

GARDNER: "Lord, I wish we ordered beans instead of Caviar."

Submitted by: Sam Rosenblum, Largo, FL

LESTER: "I'll have a salad"

Submitted by: Marcin D±browski, Warsaw, Poland

PHIL: "We lost the band!"

Submitted by: Alex Musson, London; Sam Rosenblum, Largo, FL; Marcin D±browski, Warsaw, Poland
WOMAN AT STOP LIGHT (when Truman asks if he can cut in to make a left turn):
"Sure."

Submitted by: Jason Knesek, Houston, Texas

PHIL (to Waggener): "Wake up, get handsome."

Submitted by: Huw Langridge, London, England

GARDNER: "Don't I know you?"
The Girl: You used to.."

Submitted by: Simon, Essex, London; 'db-p', Ontario, Canada; Steve Kegebein, Chicago; Kate, Fullerton, CA; Rob Sanborn, Valencia, CA

WAGGENER: "Best man's gotta dance too."

Submitted by: Huw Langridge, London, England

LESTER: (at the end of the movie, when he's finally no longer passed out) "Call me. Arthur Andersen. Dallas"
(...rather ironic nowadays)

Submitted by: D'Anne, Midland, Texas

PHIL: "Gardner didn't say goodbye."
DORMAN: "Neither will I."
PHIL: "Doorman! Goodbye, friend."
DORMAN: "Have a nice life!"


Submitted by: Paul Cope, Marble Falls, Texas; 'maxqdc', Rome; Stelios, Greece, Thessaloniki; Marcin D±browski, Warsaw, Poland; Cat, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; Danny DiBartolomeo, Havertown, PA; Mindy, Hutch, KS

_______________________________________________________________________________-

The quote I would like to add is in order after Lorna, Waggener and Judy discuss moving targets and Judy says "It's sooo neat." and before the quote "They shot Giant....here?". The quote I would like to add is from the scene where Gardner and Kenneth stumble across a newly buried Marine killed in Vietnam and Gardner says "Sorry, friend".

SUBMITTED BY: JOHN HOWELL

MIZE, MS"